When I was pregnant with Luke, I had my parenting all planned out. We will raise this kid the way we raised his Kuya Renz. Yes we did but only for his first year.
As Luke was growing older, he was showing more of his personality which is a lot more opposite to his Kuya Renz. I really struggled because I didn’t know how to deal with it. I had so many questions in mind. Why are you not like your Kuya Renz? Why are you giving me such a hard time? How do parents deal with this type of problem?
Then it hit me. I realized that MY TWO BOYS ARE DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER. I need a different approach with these two when it comes to discipline.
While Kuya Renz is the silent and obedient one, Luke has a strong personality and a wild one. So my parenting with Kuya really won’t work with bunso. We practice gentle parenting with the two boys. With Luke, what works is gentle and authoritative parenting. I’ll talk about the different parenting styles I have researched on my next blog.
Here are my realizations/tips towards raising kids with different personalities:
- Your parenting style depends on your child’s personality. Just like a teacher, you choose on how to discipline your kids depending on their personality. Does this mean you are controlled by your kids? No. This just means that you are one step ahead of them since you know how you can discipline them effectively.
- Respect your child’s individuality. We must know that every child have their own strengths and weaknesses. Every child is unique.
- Stop comparing your child with their siblings. This is a typical parent issue that I know we have all experienced. “Buti pa si Kuya/Ate mo.” “Tingnan mo si Kuya/Ate mo.” I have listened to my co-mommies and friends’ stories of their parents’ comparison to their sibling. Some got better but some are still wounded. We are not only hurting them but we are the ones who are teaching them to feel jealous and hate their sibling.
- They are unique individuals but they should know the same values. Respect, kindness and common courtesies are what we are focused on teaching our kids. They learned these things on a different approach but they both know that these values are treated with importance in our family.
Hope you learned a thing or two! 😊 Let me know your thoughts!